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I am a woman. Women all have one thing in common. We know pain. We know it on a regular basis, and it is against the rules to discuss it. I often think about starting a secret blog that dialogues the "secret" life of the American woman to record my thoughts concerning these, and other, feminine, faux pais items of discussion. Perhaps I have. Perhaps I have not. Until you find it. Here are my thoughts:
I have experienced pain so acute I cannot think, move, or even breath. I often wonder what it would be like to experience such pain without the option of pressing pause on life...I used to skip class, call in late for work, or cancel dates. I had hoped to never have to find out.
It was an unbearable eight long hours of misery and 150 6-12 year olds running haywire.
I have often wondered what the purpose of this pain is. As a young girl, I supposed it was to preparation for child bearing. One week of unbearable pain 12 times a year for give or take 10 years ought to prepare you.
Today--I will assume it was to open my eyes to the good things around me. I have composed a list:
1. 20 rambunctious 3rd graders running around the art room whipping eachother with towels and throwing paint are much easier to handle on a pain free day. These pain free days occur for me 28/30 days a month. How grateful I am!
Yes. That's about it.
Well...OK.
2. The veteran teacher at the school was wise enough to select today to sit in with his students at art. He's a big guy. The students were angels.
3. I left for home 30 minutes later than usual, because I had to recover from the day. I just barely missed a massive car accident right before my freeway exit.
4. I don't have plans tonight. So, I can sit around in my purple sweat pants and paint ugly watercolor paintings.
5. A day like this will never happen again for a very long time.
Abish
8 years ago
7 comments:
I prefer labor to your vague female pain for three reasons:
1. There are breaks between contractions while vague female pain just keeps going continually
2. My labor didn't last three days, and I don't know many peoples that did.
3. When you tell people you're in labor they don't mind if you just cancel everything. When you tell people nothing because you aren't allowed to talk about vague female pain they think you're pathetic.
I prefer vague female pain to labor for 1 reason:
1. You can take whatever drugs you want!
Like marijuana.
You have to pronounce that Mara Jew Wanna.
I think strong female pain is meant to be a preventative measure. Scare you young things into thinking you can't handle labor until your life and biological clock says that a baby would be worth it.
But guess what, you go without female pain for 9 months, then you have 3 months of it after you have the baby.
Sometimes I think menopause is going to be nice.
I hate having vague female pain when I'm grocery shopping. Then I'm all hunched over as I push my shopping cart and sigh loudly and shut my eyes from time to time.
Syl,
Who are you? And how are your vague female pains so similar to mine? I remember the first time Kevin saw me having vague female pain with a grocery cart. He thought I was dying.
Maybe the purpose is so your husband will buy your ice cream cones in the hopes that it will make the groaning stops.
HAha! You and Syl know each other. Haha. I have this incredible image of the three of us pushing carts nonsensically in all directions cutting off all other Macey's patrons.
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