A nice positive ending to a sarcastic rant on dishonesty and its ill-effects on the human species

I'm getting really good at this--by "this" I mean confronting people--and life is good.

I guess its my nature to confront people with humor. Let's say someone is sitting on my couch and its 1:30 am and he is a boy and I walk in and see him. Or, get this, someone is helping my roommate play with her hair in the bathroom, and he's a man, and it doesn't matter what time of day it is. I've got it in me to dramatize.

"YOU'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!" and sweep them out the door in a hurry.

or

"You wouldn't happen to be a man, would you? A MAN? A MAN IN MY BATHROOM? Isn't that against the rules or something. Seems like it is. But, I can't remember, can you?" Said, of course, with an extremely playful sarcasm.

These methods usually work. They're taken as friendly reminders, on most occasions.

However, one one occasion, I could tell the man on my couch was about to call my a beep. He does that on occasion. Don't worry I don't mind. I'm sure he'll go to beep for it, in a rather large hand basket. He did leave, but not without a rather minor fight. It would have been nice if my roommate was honest herself. But, since she's kidding herself, and was probably the individual to promote him to break the rules (What a siren), she gives them looks that mean, "I'm sorry I live with such a good person. Really, I'll talk to her about her extreme honesty later."

Its only slightly obnoxious. Do they make hand baskets big enough for two?

I think this post airs on the side of much too honest. Let me just say, that after I deal with these things in a respectable manner, I always regret having to play the part of the good girl, and I dream all night, quite literally, of telling the fool off. It interrupts my sleep. I think that means there is something very wrong with me. Or perhaps, it is a sign of my being a muggle.

I don't exactly know what "muggle" means. But, I thought I'd say it, because my sister and I who HAVE NOT read any of the Harry Potter books and HAVE ONLY seen one or two of the films are going to attend the midnight showing of the next HARRY POTTER movie, in honor of its being PG, AND we're going to dress up. Maybe I'll cut my hair short and wear a sticker that says "Hello, my name is Ron." Yes, I think that's what I'll do.