Afghanistan

He met with me at school today. He leaves for Afghanistan on Tuesday. I asked him if he was nervous. He said he wasn’t. He said he was excited. Our visit reminded me of a phone call I made to him just as his induction ceremony began some many months ago to mark the start of his training for deployment. I called him to tell him I trusted him. It was a message surprising even to me.

And so, as we sat visiting, I wished I could be more open with him. I wished I could feel like it meant something--at least, I wished I could feel something, but as it often goes with me (all too often) I couldn’t break outside myself.

When we hugged I wanted to keep him. I wanted him to know that I know I should have cared he came to say goodbye. I walked him to the front of the school. I followed him out the door and kept it propped open for a minute, as I watched him. I do not know if I will see this friend again. I think I will, but then again, you never know.