The Green Hornet

The Green Hornet is the first worst movie of the year.

The bad guy was more likable than the good guy. The good guy is a violent, illiterate pig. The Asian guy probably ruined his once ultra-promising career. The other characters are unbelievable.

The bad guy was more likable than the good guy.
This villain is reeking of class. He's calm, collected, and educated. He wears a nice suit. So maybe you see him violently take the lives of a handful of people (I lost count when I walked out of the theater). I like him still. He doesn't swear or engage in disgusting, chauvinist behavior.

The good guy is a violent, illiterate pig.
Filmmakers allow you to think for a split second that maybe the chubby, curly-haired kid might have one redeeming quality. When you realize the only thing the kid had going for him was that he was a kid for thirty seconds at the start of the film, the show is over.

Er...I wished it was. The audience was then delighted by the wreckless havock reeked on men who hadn't yet done anything to deserve it. The Green Hornet just might benefit from a lesson or two on killing with class from the bad guy, who at least had "good" reason to kill the men he did.

If the actor was sane, he might consider, next time (there won't be a next time), suggesting the writers include a word or two that does not begin with s and end with it. Sit. That's a good word. No, not very big--even Rogen might be able to handle it. I would sit through a film that wasn't as stupid as this one.

Pig. Another short word. But very descriptive. The Green Hornet is a pig. Say that ten times fast.

The Asian guy probably ruined his ultra-promising career.
Enough said.

The other characters are unbelievable
I don't know what possessed Cameron Diaz to agree to play the role of the smart, submissive, sexually harassed secretary. No one of her caliber would put up with that crap (remind my writer to insert a few words that do not start with c and end with ap. Cap. That's right. We'll put a cap on the number of indecent words that can be used in a PG-13 film review).

Why on earth are we supposed to believe that a man who fought for honesty in the media would not get to the bottom of things in his personal life? That kind of man doesn't exist. He's a fantastic character created to conjure the deception that it's OK to be an idiot if you think your dad was mean. I don't buy it.

I haven't decided yet who wins the award for single-handedly destroying American society: Ashton Kutcher or The Green Hornet gang? I'll let you know when I have a verdict.