Let's Do The Math

I've been test-driving this new and improved dating policy--Keep your options open!--hoping that it would alleviate unwarranted hearthurt. As it turns out, allowing yourself to consider dating more than the boy who interested you first, sometimes leads to triple action hearthurt (quadruple if you've considered four, and so on). Sometimes all three (or four) options fall out of reach in one night. If your lucky a replacement presents itself. If you're luckier, the replacement is not a smooth-talking, shifty-eyed scary guy. If you're luckiest you realize that nobody every really actually leaves the list unless they're married. It's like I always say, "Girlfriends come and go--Jordan is forever."

Here's the math:
J - (options A, B, and C) + (D, E, F, G, and H)
Where D, E, and F = S^3, G and H = surprisingly charming, and C is not a real number, B is my favorite number, and A may not actually have been on a date with that girl anyhow.